5 Tips for Career Confusion as a Young Adult
By Guest Writer (SC) and Meredith Copeland
I think we all have this thought in our heads growing up—I have to know exactly what I want to be at the age of 18 and I will do that job for the rest of my life. This idea was our parents’ reality, so we followed that same concept.
So what do you do when you feel like you’re stuck in the wrong career path? What do you do when you feel anxiety and stress from your career and you feel your talents lie elsewhere?
Personally, I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up. I chose my career by a process of elimination of careers I thought I would NOT be good at. I chose to be in healthcare with the idea that I would help people and make a difference in the world. I still love that most about my job.
Career Confusion
What I did not foresee was the stress and anxiety surrounding my field. The biggest surprise was how that would affect me emotionally, physically and mentally. I did not realize how much of this career I would take home with me at the end of the day. After a short amount of time working, I realized that I would need a change – and quickly.
I have learned a couple of things from having this “mid life” or “young life” crisis. I learned that while it makes the most sense for me to utilize the degree I have, it also makes sense to use it in a way that is more fitting to my personality. In another scenario, I could pivot altogether.
Whatever you situation may be, you are not alone. Everyone has this mental crisis at least once. After all, there are only so many majors in college and there are only so many career names. It can be so confusing trying to squeeze yourself into an already established box. So, here are 5 steps you can take when facing career confusion:
1. Stop Telling Yourself You Failed
Stop telling yourself you’re a failure. Stop thinking you “did something” wrong. You chose a career path when you were just out of childhood and you made the best choice you could at the time. Things change, people change, and time helps you understand where your heart and mind fit best.
I would venture to say that knowing what makes you feel the most alive is maturity. Purposefully choosing a career that does not bring you joy for the majority of your life sounds like a bad fit for you and your company. You deserve to be happy in the field where you spend the majority of your time.
So, ditch the mindset that you failed, because you are only failing if you choose to stay in a place that makes you unhappy. Every step, every “wrong turn”, everything you do is giving you more clarity. It isn’t failing if you decide that path isn’t right. It is actually helping you, because now you know that you tried.
You tried, and it didn’t work. And that’s okay. It makes you the opposite of a failure – that you can now identify what doesn’t work for you. It puts you one step closer to happiness.
2. Find Happiness Outside of Work
I used to think that I was completely and totally in the wrong career because I would go for three days being completely stressed and anxious about my job. It would make me feel like I was in the wrong place, and I felt like I just had to get out. The next week, I would find that I was actually okay. I liked my job. The stress that I was experiencing was temporary to push me to a place where I could enjoy my job.
On those days of stress, I would leave work knowing I needed something else to de-stress. I needed to hang out with friends who I wasn’t around all day, I would need to just absolutely veg out on the couch for the whole night, or I would need to just get up and go to the gym. Sometimes, it just took going out for drinks with coworkers to vent about the craziness of the day.
There are so many ways to make sure that in those times of confusion, you find an outlet. Whether that be in a creative way or introspective way, go find something you love outside of the workplace and look forward to that to get through the day. Choose people and activities that bring you what your job cannot fulfill in your life.
Remember that a career doesn’t define your happiness. Yes, it can affect it, but it doesn’t define it. Manage the day to day stress with coping mechanisms. Give yourself outlets to deal with your frustrations and emotions. If your career is just stressful at times, and not so stressful it is life-altering, you just need other outlets outside of work.
3. Seek Out the Positives (NOT Toxic Positivity!)
You can’t always change your situation, but you can change your mindset surrounding the situation. Things will change as long as you keep an open mindset. This does not mean you have to fall into toxic positivity. That does more harm than good. It is okay to not know what you want. It is okay to be confused and to be stressed about feeling this way. That is the most normal feeling you could have.
For the longest time, I was frustrated because I felt like everyone else knew exactly what they wanted. And some people do! But, if you’re reading this, you are where I was – and sometimes still am. I felt like I needed to figure it out as fast as possible in order to be happy. I felt like I couldn’t find anything positive about where I was, because I knew I was confused and wasn’t in my forever job.
Eventually, I had to remember that just because I had gotten myself into one career right out of college, that doesn’t mean it is forever. I still have a lifetime of opportunities, and I now know more about what I want – that’s a positive thing. I had to remember that I have had so many positive experiences in my job that have taught me about the workplace in general, as well as new friends – that’s a positive. Lastly, I had to remember that I have been able to have a job and make money while I figure out what is important to me – that’s a positive.
Not every day has to be a good day. You don’t have to love every day in your career. But, you can still try to remember what you have learned and remember you still have time left.
4. Keep Looking & Try New Things
There are so many different opportunities, careers, and avenues to make a living. I feel like that is all I do in my free time – research everything out there and try out different things. Heck, this website could have potential? I have been trying photography, and it has potential. I have written a book, sold comic books on eBay, done transcription. Everything I try, I am learning more and more about what truly lights me up.
I haven’t stopped trying new things, and even this next year, I am planning to do something new every day for 365 days. There are just so many new ideas, experiences, activities, business ventures, etc. that I don’t know about. So, I want to keep looking and trying new things to figure it out! Everything is worth trying once. I could hate it, but at least I won’t live wondering what if?
So, keep looking at what is out there. I grew up in an environment where there are clearly set jobs and careers that make sense and that are the “norm”. But, out of all of these options, nothing seemed to fit. I couldn’t find that one thing. And maybe there isn’t one thing. I would rather keep looking and having these other experiences in the meantime. Then, I will know clearly what I need to do.
Just because you don’t know anyone who is interested in what you are interested in, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. So, please, keep looking, and tell me what you find! I’m so intrigued at all the ways people find something that makes them happy.
5. Never Settle
I think this is an obvious tip to put on the list, but of course, it’s the most important. It’s also the least followed tip. I know so many people who just feel like they have to stick to the status quo. They are afraid to venture out of what they are comfortable with. They convince themselves that they are happy. When they look back, however, they aren’t sure why they have stayed in a career for so long.
If you have an unsettling feeling in your stomach, don’t settle. If you even have an inkling of a dream that you are unsure about but that lights you up, don’t settle. Pursue, pursue, pursue. Pursue these dreams in your free time. If you are even a little bit confused, how much harm can it cause to just try something out on the side? It doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic change.
All you have to do is recognize your dream. Recognize that longing in your heart for something else, and try it out. Just don’t settle in something that you will spend half of your life doing. It’s just not worth it. You can make money doing something that you love if you work hard enough. Have I figured it out yet? No. But, I’m not settling. I know I can have my career doing something that I feel is important, in healthcare, and I can also pursue the things that I love.
The key is to be patient. Be patient with yourself, and be patient with your dreams. The most rewarding experiences won’t happen overnight.
More Reading:
For more reading on young adulthood, check out 20 Ultimate Get to Know You Questions. Even if you don’t want to ask these questions to anyone else, ask them to yourself. I’m sure that you will learn so much more about what you love and who you are. It might even help you with this career confusion!
